Fuck. Sorry.
It's not worth me even telling you this, but before I collapse and sob myself into a turbulent and broken sleep I want someone to know.
The guy I like - oh, fuck it, let's just call him by his name - TOM, is now going out with someone. I was too frightened to tell him how I feel, and now he's gone. What's worse is that the girl he's dating - let's call her, oh, say LAURA - has on numerous occasions in the past said she thinks he is a twat. Now I don't know if that's just LAURA-speak for "gorgeous sweet kind lovely person" but somehow I doubt it.
You see, the reasons I was worried about telling him how I feel are:
1) I thought if it turned out he felt the same way, then it wouldn't work because I'm staying in Faversham for two years while he's going to university in Cambridge.
2) I thought that it might not be something he'd like to hear, ergo I would get brushed off, maybe lose his friendship and possibly never see him again.
So I thought it was better to wait until I had prepared myself. But oh no. LAURA had to come along and force my hand. So I don't care if he's taken, I'm going to tell him how I feel. I don't think it will matter how I do it - by text, letter, voicemail message, or perhaps boiling his girlfriend in a vat of COW SOUP - because I have nothing to lose. I never thought we were that close as friends, so if I lose his friendship it's no biggie. But by doing nothing I may be missing out on a relationship that could do me and him a lot of good.
So, before I hyperventilate, tell me what the FUCK I'm supposed to do. Am I over-reacting? Because I feel about him the way I've never felt before. Ever.
Do I risk a mediocre friendship for that?
